Cheap clothes

I don’t have a lot to say on this topic as I visit home frequently and Mom is usually more than willing to buy clothes for me. However, the Geezer has made input:

1. You can find some stylish and retro clothes dirt cheap at Goodwill - and they’re already pre-washed!
2. Parent Play 1: Shopping at Goodwill also has an added benefit. The next time Mom wants to know where you got that shirt tell her you picked it up at Goodwill. Chances are you’ll have new clothes faster than you can say “no child of mine is wearing clothes other people have thrown out”. It helps if you mention this shopping tidbit during a party your parents are throwing for lots of their friends.
3. Take care of what you have. In my experience a good pair of jeans can last 20 years or so. That works out to only $1.20 a year or about about 1/3 of a cent a day!
4. Some things never go out of style. For example, jeans, t-shirts fedoras and boas.
5. Ask for clothes for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, St Patty’s day, Halloween, Groundhog’s Day, whenever. You can always return them for something you like. Make sure you let your grandparents know you need clothes - they love to give practical clothing items, like socks and underwear, for Christmas.
6. Keep an eye on your friends. “You’re not throwing out that perfectly good pair of boxer shorts are you? Why those rips could easily be repaired with duct tape!” (BTW, what is the singular of boxer shorts? Boxer short? A “pair of boxers” seemed best, but it’s not really a pair, I’m shooting for the singular here. “Set of boxer shorts” sounds okay too, but again it seems wrong to be plural, unless somehow you’re referring to each leg. “Boxer short” seems more like a new boxing category below featherweight. Frankly, it’s amazing I get any work done with so many important questions begging for answers.)
7. Parent Play 2: With tears in your eyes, tell your Mom you’re finding it hard to make friends while wearing your old tattered clothes. (BTW, these parent plays for clothes usually only work on Mom, Dad doesn’t care what you wear as long as it covers what it should)
8. Parent Play 3: Show up for Thanksgiving with duct tape holding your shirt/pants/blouse/shoes together. This also works well when your parents pick you up at the airport. The more people around, the better.
9. If you do end up having to buy your own clothes then ask Mom (or any other adult female with children) for advice. Chances are she will know when the best sales run and at what stores.
10. It’s hard to beat Wal-Mart sale prices. You’re probably done growing so buy the end-of-season closeouts for next year. Remember, style is what you make it.
11. Ladies - guys rarely look further than tight, short, and low-cut. Only kidding, sometimes we look at coverage as well, or to be more accurate, lack thereof.

In all seriousness - it’s the smile folks. As long as you’re clean, don’t smell too bad, and have clothes on, it’s pretty much all about your smile. Bank on it..